Mr. & Mrs. Smith Movie scene

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." - Albert Schweitzer

This is a quote that I have listened from many successful marriages. Why? Because In our mortal life, we will be under the weakness of the flesh, and we will make mistakes, and the relationship will need to exercise the forgiveness.

As Elder Lynn G. Robbins said: “The family is also Satan’s primary target. He is waging war on the family.” This is because we must to learn to forgive, and to make and repair successful attempts.

These principles will help us to receive the family blessings that God is preparing for us.

Gottman teach us the book how to solve our marriage problems through 5 principles. And, I would like to share how I practice this principle in my family.

Soften your Start-up:  In my family, sometimes, the soften is a hug. My mother hug us, and say us that she loves us, but she is not happy with our action regarding to something.
Learn to make and repair attempts: When I was a child, making and repairing attempts wasn’t an election. Frequently, my parents forced us to ask for forgiveness to our friends, family, and others.
Soothe yourself and each other: My little sister is the master in this aspect. When we are complaining her, she says something that make us laugh. It is impossible scold her. In the last years, all family members have adopted this behavior after make a mistake, and this makes us more relaxed during troubles.

Compromise: This tend to be the most difficult point. The lack of compromise is the reason because sometimes we need to solve again a problem that we discussed in the past. The compromise requires patience of every member of the family or marriage because sometimes is not easy to make changes.
Be tolerant each other faults: As I said before, we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. In my family, every member have different weakness, and we have learned to accepted like they are.

Image by lilpickmeup.com

My father frequently use the phrase “love is a verb, not a noun.” His use this quote to emphasis that love is more than a feeling or an emotion; love is the result of a permanent work to progress.

In Smart Marriages Story, the wife discover that he loves her because she focusses in his actions, and through his actions she can discover how much he loves her.

I have loved Gottman’s book because he is not focusing in feelings, or emotions, he focusses in what kind of actions we need to take to be able of have good feelings in our relationship. He explains with specific steps how we can lead our marriage to a strong marriage.

I have been agreed with Dr. Gottman in the fact that the most effective exercise to reduce the stress and problems in the marriage is talk together at the end of the day about how it went. This has been an example from me parents to us. Always, when we enter in their room at night, they are talking about what they faced during the day.

Another point that I would like to add to the things that are important in marriage is sacrifice and obedience to God. A Christians, we know that the lead of our Savior will give us a greater confidence in our marriages.

Love is not just about marriage, I would like to add that love involve all member of a family, the Lord say: “Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Mosiah 13:20). This is the first commandment with a promise.

San Diego Temple

Do we have adversity?

This week, I enjoyed to hear the speech “Choose the Light” by Elder Vern P. Stanfill, and posted by Brother Barnett this week. As members of the church, sometimes, we feel that we are alone when we are talking about family with non-members, but we can choose to follow our personal revelation.

This week, I was reading the Supreme Court of the United States, the highest ranking judicial body in the United States, opinion in Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) with the purpose of understand the basis of legalization of same marriage in the United States.

This opinion of the court is related with the same sex marriage, and there are two points that I found interesting in the document:

“Decisions about marriage are among the most intimate that an individual can make.”
“The right to marry is that it safeguards children and families and thus draws meaning from related rights of childrearing, procreation, and education.”
I agree with these two opinions of the court, but I still share the definition of “marriage as a union between one man and one woman.” Currently, this definition could be considered homophobic or intolerant, but Is the same to reject a definition of the family and to be intolerant? I do not think so.

After judicial sentence, what can we do who defend the traditional family institution (religious, scientific, political, etc.)? I think we cannot change the sentence, but we can strength the values in the society. In this aspect, religious leaders play an important role because they can lead and motivate citizens to choose to obey laws (commandments) that government cannot enforce.

I want to emphasis that every disciple of Christ could become a leader, as President Kim B. Clark said: “The call to be a disciple-leader is a call to minister and to serve.  It is a call to lead as Christ leads.”



Sources:

SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES, Syllabus OBERGEFELL ET AL. v. HODGES, DIRECTOR, OHIO DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, ET AL. CERTIORARI TO THE UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE SIXTH CIRCUIT.

Image by BYUI-Home and Catalogo 15-16