Gottman say that there is not a book or therapist that can solve all your marital problems. My grandmother told me that she never read a book about marriage, she never visited a therapist with her husband, and she didn’t listen the word of a prophet (she is not LDS member), but she was able of solve her marital problems.

Why my grandma could solve her marital problems. The answer is simple they desired a happy family, they had 10 children with the promise of care of them and nurture them with love, they had defined their model family.

How does my mother learned to fix good goals for her family? The only master was love. She was orphan, and she grew in different places during her childhood; she lived with an uncle, siblings, and even with family´s friends. During these years, she saw in other families what she wants for her family, and what not, and when my grandfather meet her, he wanted the best for her, so he listened her counsel.

My grandparents had differences during his life. In an occasion my grandpa came home drunk, and he asked for food to my grandma, she was angry, and she took a stick and hit him while she saying: “take you food”. The next day he was sore, but he was not angry, he recognized his mistake, and he said sorry.

Currently, this situation could imply a domestic violence trial, and could end in divorce; but their desire of be better make that my grandmother never hit her husband again, and my grandfather never came drunk home again.